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So, what brings you to therapy?
Considering or requesting therapy may be prompted by sudden crisis – or
by having gradually reached the limit of endurance over an issue or
situation. Equally, it may be you have a strong wish to deepen your
relationship with yourself, to reach a place of ease within, to clarify
your own direction, and/or to explore your sense of deeper being,
personal meaning or spirituality.
For some, the prospect of therapy may be a daunting one - especially if
you’ve not experienced this kind of professional assistance before. You
may be feeling uncertain or ambivalent - for various reasons. For
example, you may think you should be ‘strong’ enough to sort your self
out on your own. Here, the ‘strength’ you would need is the inner
strength and tough self-honesty to shoulder responsibility for your own
self-care. And this involves taking action.
I appreciate that coming to this place may have taken you hours, days,
weeks, months or years. |
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You may, or may not, be fortunate enough to have the close support of
family and/or friends. However, this may not be enough – especially if
your issue or situation is complex, deep-rooted and/or hard to sort out
and resolve; and/or involving those very people you are closest to. If
any of this applies, then, however strong your personal support may be,
it will simply not be enough.
So, if you feel ready for this, your next step is to find a trained
professional not only able to ‘hold’ a safe and confidential space for
you each week - where you will be accepted beyond judgment as you
are, but also someone who is a ‘good match’ for you – and therefore able
to work closely with you through whatever your own needs and process
require.
IF OR WHEN
YOU MAKE
CONTACT,
you may ask
me any further questions you may have about therapy. If you then feel
comfortable enough to go ahead, your next step is to make an appointment
for an initial session. (Customarily, I then either post a letter to you
to confirm your appointment in writing, or send an email, together with
a copy of my therapy brochure.)
YOUR INITIAL SESSION provides opportunity to gain a fuller sense of your
issues and situation – and to assess the prospect of working together...
before engaging further in the process of therapy. |
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Whether it’s a specific issue that prompts you, or a vague and pervasive
unease, it may also be something wider and deeper you seek. Life is a
challenging experience. And we may wonder why we are here, and what may
be the meaning of life: life itself, and our own.
WHEN YOU
CHOOSE THERAPY you are choosing to invest in improving or developing the
inner quality of your life, the therapist is able to draw from their
training and experience, their compassionate understanding, and their
observing mind, to provide you with the opportunity to work through any
questions, confusions and blocks you may have. And so your process moves
you to increasing inner ease, strength, and self-awareness... Slowly you
may feel your way towards integration or wholeness, deepening clarity
and personal truth... in your gradual process of
‘coming home’. |
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THE PROCESS OF THERAPY involves acknowledgment and exploration of both
‘now’ and ‘then’. Awareness of ‘now’, curiosity about now, and
mindfulness (being ‘awake’), are supported and encouraged. The presence
of the ‘past’ in the present, which tends to show up as a sense of the
familiar, is noticed. Gaining a feeling-sense of what is present within
your self can lead us to what may lie at the root your present issue or
situation. This in turn guides the process of adjustment or realigning
required for resolution.
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THE NATURE OF THIS WORK IS PROFOUND. Each of us is multi-layered and
multi-facetted. Here in the west, intellect and logical thinking tend to
be highly valued, while intuition and feeling-sense are frequently
discounted. However, each facility we possess is valid and vital to our
well being in all its aspects – and work together when allowed to. When
a person who has already experienced therapy of some sort, re-enters
therapy, they may feel a little hesitant. It often transpires that,
though they may understand (intellectually) what their problem is, and
how it has come about, it’s still there! Left brain objective analytical
thinking can bring a person so far, but no further... without the
assistance of right brain subjective synthesising. While the cognitive
understanding of the head-brain-mind has a valuable place in therapy,
the intuitive feeling-sense of the dreaming-mind has an equal role... in
facilitating profoundly subtle energetic shifts within your psyche.
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Shell Breaking
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THE WORK of THERAPY ASKS MUCH OF THE THERAPIST – including ethical
practice, and such qualities as groundedness, clarity, finely tuned
curiosity, congruence and authenticity, and sensitivity. Sensitivity
guides the therapist to notice and respect a person’s many-layered
personal boundaries – which may well include many unspoken anxieties.
These anxieties may include a sense of unease that, were you to speak
unguardedly of a person you hold close, you may feel apprehensive of
judging and blaming. The therapist would not encourage this. Initially,
speaking of the way you feel other people have affected you can trigger
a sense of disloyalty.
SPECIFIC ISSUES & SITUATIONS TEND TO NUDGE A PERSON TOWARDS THERAPY:
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RELATIONSHIP with SELF – including deep unease, or a sense of
emptiness, or grief, depression; anxiety, guilt, shame; feeling lost
or empty; poor sense of self; feeling entrapped; panicky; lack of
sense of ground; disorientation and/or alienation; issues re.
self-acceptance/esteem/confidence; being self-critical, self-hating,
self-punishing; feeling vulnerable and/or inadequate; feeling
unfulfilled or under-valued; feeling stuck in uncomfortable
emotional states – such as sorrow, anxiety, insecurity, need,
anger/hate, jealousy, bitterness, guilt, weariness, etc; uncertainty
regarding personal identity, sexuality, sexual orientation, gender
identity, gender dysphoria...
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RELATIONSHIPS with OTHERS – including issues of intimacy and trust;
relationship or marriage difficulties – in terms of dynamics,
break-down/break-up, separation/divorce; illness, loss, bereavement,
neediness; fears of repeating mistakes or negative patterns...
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RELATIONSHIP with LIFE/LIFE SITUATIONS: unspoken anxieties; panic
attacks; existential issues – ‘the big questions’, such as fear of
dying and death; doing and being, sense of meaninglessness and
aimlessness...
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BEGINNING THERAPY
is often a courageous and challenging step. Experience shows that
clarity, continuity and commitment are essential, in terms of consistent
attendance. Every person who contacts me receives a copy of my
counselling & psychotherapy brochure before we begin, which creates the
opportunity to reflect upon the contractual agreement that is an
essential part of our working together. Sessions are conducted on a
confidential and regular basis - normally weekly, a single session
length being (the standard) 50 minutes. On-going evaluation will take
place during the course of therapy, however long or brief that may be,
so that both therapist and those who come for therapy may remain clear
as to the focus of the work and evolving needs. Ending, like beginning,
is an equally important process. When this moment comes, it is important
that sufficient time be given to bring about a genuine sense of
completion. |
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Often the most debilitating fear arises at the prospect of our own
death. The Stoics spoke of death as the most important event in life.
They add: ‘Learning to live well is to learn to die well; and
conversely, learning to die well is to learn to live well.’
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THE THERAPIST’S ROLE is to assist you in making your own journey together with your
own choices and
decisions. It does not normally involve the giving of advice, or acting on
your behalf.
While counselling is a specifically issue-based less in-depth process –
and therefore shorter term, the deeper process of psychotherapy is aimed
to help you explore who you are, and encourage you to develop or regain
a sense of meaning in your life.
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You will be guided with sensitivity into those personal areas of which
you may not be particularly aware – as if these aspects of your self are
in shadow. This will require your increasing trust in your therapist,
and may take courage and time to develop. Additionally, your ‘shadow’
may well contain qualities that would usually be considered ‘positive’,
as well as ‘negative’ material.
Your readiness to do this work needs to be carefully monitored by your
therapist, the depth and pace guided by your own responses. As a result
of this work, you may feel empowered to do something yourself about what
isn’t right for you, rather than feeling frustrated, helpless, or lost.
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Mandala of Transformation
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Exploration of the ways in which we communicate with each other, on all
levels, enables us to clarify what we want and to be more direct with
what we want to say. A useful and profound understanding may emerge...
Greater choice brings increased self-responsibility; development of
self-awareness brings about the possibility of personal transformation.
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JAIMIE CAHLIL
As an Accredited Member of
BACP
(British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy), I am bound by
BACP’s Ethical Framework for Good Practice in Counselling and
Psychotherapy, and subject to the Professional Conduct Procedure
therein.
I am also an Associate Member of
AHPP
(Association of Humanistic Psychology Practitioners).
The
UK
AHPP is an independent member organisation
of the United Kingdom Council of Psychotherapy (UKCP) and of the
European Association for Psychotherapy. |
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Invisibly Held in Love (near completion)
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As counsellor and psychotherapist, I have
undergone extensive
psychotherapy myself
- forming an integral
part of my training
and
pre-requisite for practising. I regard
the continuing professional guidance and support I receive as essential
for ethical and effective practice.
As
therapist responding to the needs of the individuals who come for
therapy, I am ready to work to the depth and length each person
requires.
Brief therapy is designed to help
answer a person’s needs for immediate alleviation of, or strategies for
managing, a present difficulty. This is issue-orientated and is commonly
regarded as ‘counselling’. Deeper
lengthier therapy is more
process-orientated
– referred to
as ‘psychotherapy’. This deeper
process provides an opportunity for as thorough an exploration as
necessary for understanding and integrating various aspects of self and
experience of
being. To achieve effective work, the
therapist and person attending therapy need to work together as a
team... towards resolution of deeply held emotional and body-held
feeling, potentially leading to release and healing within the deepest
subtle energetic levels.
The
counselling-psychotherapy continuum provides a transformative relational
process designed to
acknowledge and support, observe and question, challenge and awaken...
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